


L'appel du vide

by cadkitten



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Clothed Sex, First Time, Frottage, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Masturbation, Rutting, Virginity Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-10 20:29:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7860064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick's had this dirty little secret for years, but he never expected it to be focused on <i>Damian</i>, of all people. A little slip of his mouth and he's left struggling to cover for himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	L'appel du vide

**Author's Note:**

> For DickDamiWeek over on tumblr. Day 6: Sexual Innocence  
> L'appel du vide - French for _the call of the void_ , generally used to describe the instinctive urge to jump from high places.  
> Beta Readers: kate1zena  
> Song[s]: "High For This" by The Weeknd

Damian stretched across the table, reaching for the last carrot that needed to be chopped. Dick glanced at him, watched the way his shirt rode up, how it exposed a strip of bare flesh just above the waistband of his stupid track pants. He forced his eyes back on what he was doing, finishing peeling the potato in his grip. Settling it on the cutting board, he picked up his knife and carefully carved it into five equivalent pieces, turned the whole of it, and sliced it once down the middle. 

The past week had been nothing but distraction after distraction, all in the form of the very same person who was currently causing him yet another round of _distracted as hell_. If he'd actually found it fun, he would have called it a game. But, as it was, it definitely wasn't something he'd label as _fun_. One little discussion - held over Damian's first glass of wine while they'd been in the mist of London - had become Dick's undoing.

He could still hear the breathed out little, "-tt-," Damian had issued just before he'd spilled the beans about how much he _didn't_ value sexual gratification. Something along the lines of, "I know _you_ have an affinity for it, Grayson, but _honestly_... the human need for intercourse is _pathetic_." That little gem had instantly yielded Dick's mouth to engage long before his brain could catch up with him and he'd leaned across the table - could still feel the smirk he'd had on his face - and delivered back a carefully angled jab of his own: "Oh yeah? If it's pathetic to _desire_ , then I'd think you have some work of your own to do in that department." He hadn't meant it sexually, hadn't even meant for the words to have the barbs that they did, but all the same, he'd watched Damian's hands shake just the slightest before he clutched at his glass and had pinned Dick with the worst possible look he'd ever received. 

The conversation hadn't gone very well from there and the alcohol in Dick's system had loosened his tongue to the point that he didn't bother to dictate where his words had pointed. By the time they'd left the restaurant, Damian had been so angry that the instant they'd hit the street, he'd turned on Dick and unleashed every ounce of that rage in the form of his words. Dick supposed he'd been lucky it hadn't been his fists and he also supposed he'd deserved every word of it. 

Of course the next morning had brought headaches and apologies and neither of them had spoken of it since. But that hadn't kept Dick's mind from straying to some rather inappropriate places when he least expected it to. _Like right then_. He pushed the potato into the plastic tray of various other cut veggies and picked up the cutting board and knife, holding out his hand for Damian's as well, watching as he dumped the carrot into the tray. 

Dick carted the boards off to the sink, settling against the counter and turning on the water. He picked up a cloth and lathered it, starting to wash down the first board, his mind straying once again, right back into dangerous territory. The conversation leading up to the comment had been based on the fact that Dick had been watching a couple getting pretty engaged in one another a few tables away and Damian had caught him. The detective in Dick knew Damian had to have found the same thing he had, had to have been watching them just as much to have caught exactly what he was watching, and he was honestly unable to avoid that knowledge. 

He'd been trained damn well in all the tells a person could present and he'd been doubly trained in how to seduce, which also meant reading a person's level of arousal through bodily cues alone. Damian had displayed nearly every one of them right before he'd shuttered himself off almost completely and delivered that snarky-ass little line to Dick. Something about that stayed with him, knowing Damian was slamming the door on such emotions whenever they cropped up. It wasn't just then, either. He'd watched as Damian had done it again and again over the past week, over everything from waking from a nap that had clearly wandered his mind too far into the gutter to the _very_ naked people they'd all stumbled upon on patrol. He'd never seen someone shut down faster in his entire life than Damian had right after they'd landed in the room. 

"Are you going to wash it until it disappears?" Damian's voice broke through his thoughts and Dick focused his gaze again, finding he was still absently scrubbing the same cutting board.

"Was planning on it, but looks like you saved its life." Dick rinsed it off and ditched it into the drain board, reaching for the other board and starting to wash it off. 

"-tt-," Damian brushed past him, reaching to grab the board from the drying rack. He plucked up a towel and began to pat it dry, leaning absently against the counter. "Try not to kill that one then."

Dick flipped the board, hastily washing the back of it and then rinsing the whole thing, simply handing it off to Damian instead of putting it in the drain board. He carefully began to wash the knife he'd been using, debating the best way to bring up what he wanted to. He rinsed the knife and put it down to dry, watching Damian move to put the boards away from the corner of his eye. "Can I ask you something personal?"

He watched Damian hesitate for a moment, hand hovering over the second board he'd put down to place the first in the shelf. As he picked it up, he offered a very quiet, "You may."

"Are you a virgin?" The words came out before Dick could stop them to make them something more elegant - or at least less blunt. 

Damian closed the cabinet door perhaps harder than necessary, kept his hand against the wood, making an indignant noise in the back of his throat. "If this is about the other night-"

"It isn't." Dick winced at the words left his mouth. Half a lie, half not... but really, nothing he could change now that he'd said it. "I just... well, the way you react to things sometimes. There's just an innocence to it is all. I guess I didn't expect that from you."

Damian leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his chest as he regarded Dick in a manner that left Dick's pants a little too tight for comfort. "You're asking because you cannot stop thinking about our conversation. Your tells are too obvious."

Dick placed the second knife down, rinsing the cloth and wringing it out. He shut off the water and turned, picking up the dish towel to dry his hands as he met Damian's gaze head-on. "Maybe they are, but that doesn't answer my question."

Damian looked away, his jaw working as he gritted his teeth and then, finally, released the tension there, shaking his head the slightest. "There are times I still feel as though I am an outsider. The way that you all place such significance on a _degrading_ experience is, at best, confusing." Damian shoved away from the counter, heading back toward the table, plucking up the tray of vegetables and then shooing Dick out of the way as he settled it over the sink and began to run water over it with the sprayer, the liquid raining down into the sink from the holes in the bottom of the tray. "An entire culture surrounding an act that takes place once in each person's life - _if_ it does at all - and there is such an ingrained _need_ to know such things about others. I do not see why it would matter in any given situation." He shut off the water and lifted the tray, bouncing it a bit to get the rest of the water out. "Since it seems to matter to _you_ so much, perhaps you can explain it."

Instantly, it felt like something lodged itself in Dick's throat, as he realized somehow the tables had turned to force him to explain something he didn't really want to, something he was _ashamed_ of. The realization settled in that this was what it felt like to Damian, to be asked something like that. He slumped against the counter, bringing one foot up to idly kick at the lower cabinet as he watched Damian dump the vegetables into the slow cooker and start to add the broth they'd made up the night before. Taking a deep breath, he sighed it out, gazing up at the ceiling as he did. "I shouldn't have asked you that. You're right, it's none of my business and I didn't have a right to do it. So... I'm sorry."

Damian dumped in the cut up pork and unscrewed a jar of salsa verde, adding it to the dish before putting the glass lid on the whole thing and setting it for four hours on high. Their eyes met for a moment as he moved passed Dick to wash his hands. Dick passed him the towel when he was done and Damian dropped it over the edge of the drain board, leaning past Dick to grab his water bottle from earlier, effectively trapping him where he stood. "Accepted." He pulled back enough to look him right in the eyes, holding the stare long enough it started to make Dick want to squirm away from it. "It still stands though: tell me why you want to know and I will answer."

Dick swallowed thickly, keeping Damian's gaze as long as he could before he gently pushed his way past Damian. "It's not any of my business, we established that. Let's just drop it, okay? I won't ask again, I promise." He picked up his coffee cup, fingers dampening from the condensation on the outside of the plastic, the faintly coffee-colored liquid splashing inside, most of his ice gone already. Stepping around the island, he only got one step before Damian's hand curled around his bicep, holding him firmly in place. 

"My turn to be obnoxious about something. Dick," Damian stepped right up into his personal space, standing close enough he could feel the heat radiating from him. "Perhaps I am not making myself clear. I can - and _have_ \- read your tells. You're running scared and there is no point in it when I already know all there is to know about this. Tell me _why_ and I tell you exactly what you want to hear."

Dick stared down at the hand gripping his arm, knew his breathing was already ramping up in a way wholly inappropriate to the current situation, knew he was giving himself away once again. "If it's the answer I want, then you may not fully understand what you're asking me to admit." He could hear the edge to his own voice, the way he was covering his shame with anger at himself for having voiced any of this to start with. 

"I am not nearly as naïve as you think me to be." Damian pushed lightly at Dick, backing him up right against the island, placing a hand on either side of him and leaning in until he was a paper's width from being pressed against him. "You _want_ to tell me, Grayson."

"Is this the Jedi mind trick or what?" Tim's voice cut through the room and both Dick and Damian startled enough that Tim stopped dead, crossing his arms and staring at them. When his eyes started to narrow, Dick let out a little half-snarl and pushed Damian back, removing himself from the kitchen. He could hear Damian's words following him as he headed toward the stairs: "Keep your nose where it belongs, _Drake_." The way he said it was anything but the same as how he'd said Dick's name earlier. The difference left him feeling starkly aware of what had just transpired, left a pull in his gut that he understood all too well.

He shoved the bathroom door the rest of the way open and stepped inside, settling his coffee on the counter and turning on both taps. Leaning over, he cupped water in his palms and splashed it over his face, scrubbing his hands over it as he bit back the somewhat horrified groan that wanted out. Damian _knew_. There was no other explanation for how he'd backed him up like that, how he'd pushed every button he possibly could have without fully revealing his hand. There was a certain horror to that; to knowing Damian understood just how big of a _freak_ Dick was when it came right down to it.

He splashed more water on his face, fumbling for the towel, his eyes closed. He found it and pushed his face into the plush softness of Egyptian cotton, held himself like that for a moment as he tried to cool off. Even if Damian did understand, to a degree, he couldn't possibly get the full extent of it. There was no way he knew how much it had been haunting Dick this past week and there was _zero_ way he fully understood the actuality of Dick's pathetic little kink. He was careful, always had been until that dumb little question had come popping out of his mouth in the kitchen just now. He'd never asked a single person he'd been with, had honestly only _taken_ one person's virginity in all the times he'd had sex, and he never _ever_ let it be a search term when he was looking for something to jack off to. This particular little fetish had remained in his head, hidden away like the potentially vile thing it was.

Dropping the towel on the sink, he looked up and immediately tensed. Damian lounged against the wall beside the shower, his image reflected clearly back to Dick in the mirror. One glance told him the door was now firmly shut, the lock turned to keep anyone else out, and how the hell he'd missed all that, he had no idea. Placing his hands on the counter, he quietly watched Damian as he spoke. "You get better at sneaking up on people every day. Better than me."

"Flattery will get you _everywhere_ in this case." Dick half expected Damian to push away from the wall, to cage him in again, but he only remained where he was, seemingly at ease. "I'll even go first. All I need is a promise that you _will_ tell me what I want to know."

Everything in Dick told him to run away from this conversation, to force his mind to stop thinking about it and _move on_. The other part whispered sinful things in his ear, told him he could _hear_ Damian admit he'd never engaged in a single sexual act, told him how he could use that fact for his own gratification a million times over if he only nodded his head. And he _would_ , too. He knew with how he'd already been caught up in this, that he'd seek every moment he possibly could to think about it until he knew for sure that Damian had lost himself in someone. More than that, he knew he had to be facing him when he admitted it, no matter how much it gave away about him and his perversions. 

Turning, Dick settled against the sink, door knob digging in against his hip, though he chose to ignore it. "Fine."

Dick watched the self-satisfied way Damian flicked his gaze over Dick's body, _felt_ the intensity of it that he knew he had to be imagining. Two strides brought Damian right up in front of Dick and when his hand came to rest against his chest, Dick wasn't entirely certain he remembered how to breathe. Damian's hand dragged downwards, burning a path right down to Dick's jeans, pushing his shirt up, and then gliding back over his hips, coming to a rest there. A bemused little look came over Damian's face as he tipped it back up to look up at him, Dick still just a fraction taller than him. " _This_ is the most _intimate_ contact I've ever had with another person."

Dick knew it was obvious, how his body was reacting. He knew his breathing was far more labored than it should have been, knew his pupils were probably blown to hell right then, and _hell_ , if Damian so much as glanced down again, he'd know _everything_. Damian shifted in, carefully fitting his hips against Dick's own, rolling them just enough to pull the groan from Dick's lips that he knew he could _never_ take back, and then the words came, the ones he'd been aching to hear from someone for most of his life. "You want my _virginity_ , don't you?"

His hands closed over Damian's biceps, holding on tight as he fought with himself, fought to keep himself still and fought not to do something _stupid_. His hips rocked lightly against Damian's own, unable to quell his desires completely as he gritted out, "Yes." His mouth felt dry and the world suddenly felt hazy, and before he knew it, he was whispering his confession, admitting it out loud for the first time in his entire life. "You wanted to know why. It's my biggest secret." He gripped the counter harder as Damian ground down against him, the start of his own erection pressing against Dick's hip. "It makes me feel like trash, but-" he gasped as Damian's hands pushed up further under his shirt, "I like to think about it; about taking someone's virginity. The one time I did, I got off harder than I ever had before and I just... the _idea_ of teaching someone how to pleasure and be pleasured, how to make love and how to _fuck_ , it gets me - _So. Damn. Hard_." 

Damian's hands shifted to his belt instantly and he was on his knees before Dick could register what was happening. Their eyes locked and Dick took in the heat there, the way his entire body radiated uncontainable desire. "Then _teach me_ , Grayson." And there it was again, the way Damian said his name, the way he'd been saying it for years, and it hit Dick like a ton of bricks as he realized how very blind he'd been. While he'd been busy imagining everything he could do to Damian this past week, Damian had already been imagining it for even longer. Even the flippant comment in London had been a simple cover to the truth, a way for Damian to pretend he _didn't_ care when he really did. It was so typically Damian that Dick felt foolish for having bought into it so easily. 

Lifting one hand, he threaded it into Damian's hair, tipping his head back as he knelt with him, falling to his knees, nearly against him. Excitement gripped him and he let it build until he was desperate to _obtain_ , until his hand was trembling with all that he was holding back. Only then did he crush their lips together. Only then did he kiss Damian like a man long-denied. His arm hooked around Damian's middle, drawing him close, holding him flush against his body as he dragged his tongue along his lower lip, easing in when Damian allowed it.

His hips rocked against Damian's, dragging the bulge of his cock over the very obvious jut of Damian's from his track pants. Damian's hands dug into the flesh just under his shoulder blades as they surged against one another again and again. He swallowed up Damian's every sound, the little moans he felt more than heard and the quiet, aching gasps that left him thinking of pressing Damian up against the wall and thrusting up into him until he fell apart in his arms. 

Damian's fingers fisted in his shirt, a full-body tremble sliding through him; then he was clutching Dick like a madman, hands grabbing him by the belt loops as he moved faster, rutting against him in a frantic sort of way that told Dick he was about to lose it. He brought his hands down to cup his ass, helping him with every forward thrust, feeling the tightness pool in his own belly, the coil so ready to snap. Damian's movements changed and Dick pulled back from the kiss to study the blissed-out look on his face, to see the strain of wanting to cum and yet wanting to hold back. He saw the surprise of _obtaining_ wash over Damian's face, felt the difference in his thrusts, and then, dropping his gaze lower, the rush of cum spilling through the fabric of his track pants right over the bulge of Dick's own erection. 

Dipping his hand down between them, Dick lightly fondled Damian as he finished losing himself, as he emptied his balls with someone else for the _first time_ in his life. That thought kickstarted him and he didn't bother to stop himself from wrenching open his jeans and shoving his damp hand inside, frantically stroking himself toward his own end. Damian's hand came down to rest on his wrist and Dick pressed his forehead to his shoulder, breathing out a quiet, "Not yet... not this time." He turned his head, nuzzling in under his jaw, rubbing his lips there as he spoke. "I want to show you the world, I want to be your first in _everything_ , but not all at once."

" _Grayson_."

Just like that, everything snapped. Dick gasped as his hips jerked against his own hand, cock pushing through his hold as he tightened it. He moaned louder than he knew he should have as he rocked against his own fist, easing this age-old ache in his gut for the first time in _years_. 

Damian's hands ghosted over his arms, stroking until he was spent, left gasping for his breath, the scent of their mingled cum on the air, teasing at him, begging for him to want _more_ , and _hell_ , he did. He wanted the world and he'd have burned down everything in it to have it right then. Placing a gentle kiss against Damian's jaw, he eased himself back and extracted his hand, accepting the wad of tissue Damian handed over. Slumping back against the cabinet, he smiled as Damian settled with his back against him, both of their feet pressing against the side of the tub. 

This... this he could get used to.


End file.
